Undergrad life - Part V

Back at Ryerson I can breathe a little easier. I still have some issues with anxiety.

Mostly the issue is that I have developed some bad habits. I feel as though I don't really need to attend class. Which - I mean, you don't NEED to attend class. If you study from lecture notes and textbooks you can always learn what you need to learn. But it is a lot more work.

I also don't like to study. I don't put much effort in at all. The Fall semester I get mostly B's. I take mostly psych courses. I attend about 5% of my classes. Oops. I'm still working during this time of course. Helping manage the coffee place. 20 hours a week or so, I'm ordering inventory and scheduling staff.......coffee making.

I think about Midwifery. But at this point I can finish this degree with one more year. It seems like the right thing to do. 

In the winter semester things do not go well. A family crisis takes me away from school for a while. And when I get back, I just don't care. I see a counsellor again. I try to work things to my advantage. I write midterms that I missed. I hand in late work for marks. I have 4 wonderful professors that are helpful and amazing. I have one that makes it difficult and tells me there is no way I can pass her course. But I do. And I pass all of the courses that I am enrolled in. Thank goodness.

I apply for transfer credits to see if any of my work at Michener can be used at Ryerson. They grant me 5 transfer credits.

I take a summer course. Stats. I experiment with attending class more often. And I hardly have to study at all and the course is over and it is time for a new semester again.

September 2012. I quit my job at this point. Mostly because I had been there for so long. But also there had been changes to the management in the last year that were not amazing. This is stressful and relieving at the same time. I figure with no job and just school to focus on things should be fine.

But I fall back into old habits. I have hardly attended lecture. My lab reports leave something to be desired. Studying seems like the worst of chores. I am not interested. Cell Biology - no thanks. Mechanics - no thanks. I'm not sure how to get through this year. The last year of this pain in the ass undergraduate degree.

But I have a good feeling too. After the years of wandering my way through life and school, I have a plan. A goal. A dream. One that is truly mine. No matter what this is the year that I finally have the go ahead from my crazy brain to apply to Midwifery.

I could not be more excited, more nervous and more sure about something.